Once upon a time....
There was a lad called kris!!! Kris was a nice lad(sometimes) and did enjoy his punk rawk, he liked his punk rawk sooo much that he decided to form a band! Not just any band, a punk rawk band!
But Kris realised one big problem with his cunning plan! Kris had no friends! Kris needed a plan!
Firstly Kris phoned up a sex line, then the samaritans but got his answer from alcoholics annonymous when a young lad by the name of Skankin jack picked up the phone!
Jack also liked his punk rawk but more importantly he liked his alcohol which suited Kris fine as he did enjoy the occasional sniffter at christmas. So it was decided that Jack would play drums! Then Kris needed a Bassist, so Kris phoned up for a mail order wife and they sent him a bloke by the name of Coleman(also a chris, but there can only be one Kris).
So the newly formed band began practising in Skankin Jacks secret underground mountain cave for there first show! But one problem still remained, they had no name, unfortunately the backstreet boys was taken so they settled with Low Flying Motorcycles(shortened to LFM coz it sounds cooler).
After the first gig Jack left due to him fleeing the country because he had impregnated a dutch prostetute(who knew jack as boris for some reason) and the government wanted him to pay for the childs upbringing, but jack is only 14 and does not want to give up the 2 pound 37 pence he gets as pocket money every week.
Also Coleman left because his visa had expired and he had to go back to pakistan to sew footballs!
Then Kris' dreams were shattered, he no longer had his punk rawk band! Then 40 years later Kris was having a game of bowling with michael jackson, during this game of bowling a random woman went into labour and out popped a lil baby, Kris then stole the baby ran out of the bowling urm place and ran home with the little creature. Kris then named the baby oliver after the famous footballer oliver bierhoff, Kris hated bierhoff and he hated the baby so the name suited him well! This new baby became the replacement to Skankin Jack on Drums!
Then Kris needed another bass player, he didnt trust the mail order wifes agency because of what had happened with Coleman!
But it had turned out that skankin jack had left something behind, the thing he had left behind was his stalker only known as Mr West! So Kris led Mr West to a practise using one of Jacks old socks that was given to him as a birthday present when Kris and Jack fought in Vietnam(in which jack got a wooden arse)! And West Became the new Bassist!
Nowadays you can find the band moochin about, smokin to much dope(kindly paid for by skankin jack) and randomly wandering down roads taking street signs and making them into birthday cakes whilst eating said birthday cakes and discussing such things as the meaning of life, the oil situation in saudi arabia and whats for lunch!
ZOE
FIN!